What is known to be true is not your truth.
The difference is this.
What is true is usually readily accepted, proven, and approved of. It is allowed by society, your family, and work colleagues. It is safe to discuss around the dinner table. You won’t generally be shunned, judged, or booed offstage for speaking it (depending upon your family, of course).
But. Your truth.
It is as controversial as the vaccine debate during the COVID-19 pandemic. It is radical, rebellious, revolutionary, or just plainly new. It may be polarising or divisive.
Your truth is messy, naughty, and sexy; it breaks free from the jail cell that is “normal” or meets the status quo.
You see, I had plans to be an archaeologist, an Egyptologist in fact, but I was put off by the dirt. I couldn’t bear what I perceived to be highly uncomfortable, and frankly, unnecessary. I figured I could bypass the dirty work. I couldn’t bear the thought of scraping nails into the dusty pit, the sting of splinters from wooden tools on calloused palms, or breathing in the hot air of swirling desert dirt.
So I played it safe…and clean.
I couldn’t bear the uncomfortable. I mean fair enough really; some of us are simply not up to stretching those boundaries. It is not for everyone. Neither is uncovering your truth. But here it is, the real, honest and vulnerable trigger. If you desire to delve into your truth, to write from its depths, speak from its soul pulls and urges, then you best be prepared to get bloody uncomfortable. And fast.
You will likely hit resistance pretty quick.
Your truth does not come from the surface layer. It doesn’t raise its little, white flag, give itself up, and say, “Here I am; come claim me.”
It will hide under every excuse, every fear, every opinion, judgement, and societal condition that you have ever heard or thought of. Be prepared to dig deep. You don’t need to like it, but you need to be willing.
I liken this excavation of truth to that archaeological dig I just mentioned; only it is internal, into your soul and heart. Yeah, it’s going to hurt when that pick hits the sore spot and cracks open that long-locked vault, but it’s going to bring forth the glorious treasure eventually.
You must be willing to sit in the dirt and dust and muck and wait as it settles around you. It requires you to adopt a level of allowance, acceptance, and surrender. Allow it to stick to your makeup, cake up under your nails, sting your eyes, and build up grime between your toes. Let it sting and offend you with its rugged harshness. Let it leave a rough, dry, and hard-to-swallow taste in your mouth.
Your job is to sift through the crap, the boring, everyday rocks that you “read” everywhere to find your gold. Find what excites, ignites, or infuriates you, not anyone else, but you. Those tiny specks of gold are waiting to be pulled forth, examined, and shared for all their beauty and rarity with the world.
This is where we choose to comply with the norm or face any amount of criticism, exclusion, or ignorance. This is where you choose to leap into the river or remain on the shore. Sink or swim. There will, of course, be people who completely “get” you (your people), but many will wonder what new drug you are taking or what planet you come from.
When you choose to pave your own path, it will feel incalculably unsafe. It may literally feel like ripping apart your identity, as though you are trampling on the person you spent a lifetime nurturing and creating, with gigantic, putrid boots. Shattering her. Destroying her safe haven. This is just an illusion. This “nice girl” will be stubborn when challenged. She is feisty, and she will put up a fight to maintain the status quo. She is comfortable and safe, snuggled in her beanbag of acceptance and belonging.
In actual fact, this excavation and uncovering of yourself are really allowing the “coming home.” A coming back to the knowledge that you are innately worthy, fully capable, divinely gifted, and a genius creator who always has been brimming with possibility and purpose. It is a welcoming back of your deepest truth, with open arms, ushered in, drawn close, and warmly embraced into your being.
She is the woman you were designed to be. Whole, complete, and full realisation of her infinite connection and divinity. She is all you were, are, and can be.
She is your truth. Unique, raw, real, and freakin’ magnificent.
Words by Sarah Croft
Her website is http://www.soulfulcopybysarahj.com.au
Sarah's instagram handle is soulful_copy_by_sarah.j