Are Your Thoughts Your Own?

I was trying to get this article off a while ago but the dreaded COVID descended our house with the force of Great Aunt Hilda at Christmas time, butting into our plans, questioning our loyalty, leaving us in a sweat and hiding in our rooms. With the last cough making its disappearance over the horizon leaving me to contemplate and get back to work and prepare.

As a HeartsMath Coach and Mentor working with horses, in order to write this article I found myself suddenly being put in the position of the client, rather than my four legged friends and questioning how I can share something of value. Where do I start? What are my building blocks as a mother, running my own business with numerous responsibilities nipping at my ankles? Here goes...

I am blessed to live in a country (Mallorca, Spain) that always lifts my mood but most of all a good female support network that are rock solid and each one so different and brilliant. The power of female support is for me the equivalent of your morning coffee. During my life it has been a strange and wonderful trip, sometimes keeping and sometimes getting rid of friends as you grow and change.

Who is cheering you on from the side-lines? No really – look closely...

I honestly believe we need to be much more aware of our emotions, of our story and stop piggybacking on others. We really have to create a different dialogue in our heads.

Stop standing on the edge of a world where we need to add our individuality to life.

For example, start separating yourself out. What two of your friends do on Saturday morning yoga, juicing and a hike might not be okay for you but don’t shut it down. Face inwards and look at what would work for you.

There are countless opportunities if you stay heart focussed and ask yourself.

But there in begs the question – Who are you?

I have a friend who jogged for 15 years and when I asked her why she did it the answer was “Oh everyone was jogging at the time I absolutely hated it really”.

Although I undoubtedly admired her will power it did leave me thinking “Why”?

Know that you are constantly changing whether you like it or not. Your body, your mind, let’s not forget your eyesight and forgetting where you left your keys!!!!!

At the end of the day it's all about balance. Balance of what exactly, when most women already have a huge juggling act. We collapse on the sofa mindlessly watching something, shaking our head after 10 minutes at our inability for turn off some game show but secretly wanting Mrs Goggin’s from Hartlepool to win.

The four most important things for me with my work and even my life is where I am Mentally, Physically, Emotionally and Spiritually.

I am constantly surprised at the limited knowledge of emotions and how we box ourselves in as women. Being sad is not the same as being depressed and yet we automatically feel that if we feel gloomy and sad that we must be going down a spiral that we share wholeheartedly with our counterparts.

So, what’s the solution?

Reset Rebalance and move into change. Find out which part is robbing the other of your four foundations and start building it up.

Make no mistake, this is not an instant fix. Your foundations are constantly moving and changing, there is no final destination and as the saying goes it is the journey that matters, not the destination.

Start being the detective on your own secret mission, turn it inwards work out what’s going on and how you think.

Are your thoughts your own or someone else’s?

Could they be learnt from your upbringing?

I remember my father having a distinct dislike of cats. Needless to say I myself grew up thinking and believing that I don’t like cats. It was so entrenched that I believed deep down it was true. It was only as I became older that I actually began to question where this came from and realised that this was not my belief or my real thoughts on the matter.

It is important to question the imposters of our mind. We are always on the cusp of change and recently the future is definitely female which leads me on to the men in our lives.

It’s now time to start embracing all those wonderful men and to teach our sons about women.

The world seems to have become a polar opposite and it is now the good men who are suppressed and seem to have no voice. Most are all too willing to verbalise what a creepy inappropriate man is like whilst a good man is almost overlooked.

As a mother of four children with two incredible sons if we really want to stand in our female power then let us take these wonderful men by the hand and start encouraging them and acknowledge the good.

Some have evolved and taken a big step forward but to be truly heart focussed the journey is for everyone to take.

So, in conclusion on this wonderful bright day take a step into the unknown and start getting to know yourself – you never know you might just end up being your own best friend.

Jacquie Roberts is an Equine Facilitator and HeartsMaths Coach and Mentor working with horses at Equine Minds Mallorca.

Cover photo by Artem Kovalev on Unsplash